TTSNBSIM 2: "Only Love Matters"

TTSNBSIM (Things That Should Never Be Said In Mass)

#2: "Only Love Matters"

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This series is on the subject of things that I've heard said at the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, which should, in reality, never be said there.  Often, it's because these things are incorrect, but occasionally, it's because the remark, as stated, is simply not explained well enough, and will inevitably be misinterpreted.  In the latter case, the post will also contain an explanation of why this is, as well as proposed -alternatives,- which make the intended statement a bit more clear.

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Here, we have a statement regarding love, and I just have to say, I think it's about time that Christians in general (and Catholics in particular) just gave up on the English word "love."  Why?  Because the word no longer means anything.  This one word can be used to mean any of the following.

1. Sex, or even anonymous, uncommitted sex.
2. Sexual attraction, as in the phrase "he loved her from the moment he first saw her."
3. The various methods and behaviors classified as "romance."
4. A state of being predisposed to romantic feelings and inclinations towards someone, as in the phrase "you can tell he's in love, even when she's not around."
5. A strong liking for something.  For example, when I say "I love popcorn," or "I love root beer."
6. Deep affection for a child or dependent.
7. Deep affection for a spouse or significant other.

Here's the problem.  When Jesus used the word "agape," and when the Church uses the word "caritas," none of these definitions is implied, intended or necessary.  The definition that we mean is...

8. A self-sacrificing behavior, done on behalf of someone else.

The "agape" of Jesus is not some selfish, romantic attraction, nor is it some petty, temporary affection for a person, rooted, most often, in a simple, good mood.  It's the rock solid commitment to give of oneself for the sake of others, and this is the same "agape," which God showed in creating the universe, even though he didn't need to.

Any statement about love is going to be a dangerous and easily-misinterpreted statement, for this reason alone; the word means something different to each person, and therefore means nothing.

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However, even if you've been taught the true meaning of "agape," the statement "Only Love Matters," is still false.  There is something else that matters; the truth.

A person may, for example, fully intend to sacrifice for someone else, and fully attempt to do so, but in his attempt, if he doesn't know the truth about how to help them, he may still do evil without realizing it.

For example; assisted suicide.  Assisted suicide derives all of its force, in the current culture, from the desire to help someone else not suffer so much.  If you sacrifice to get someone an assisted suicide, this might be considered agape; a self-sacrificing behavior, done on behalf of someone else.  However, because you don't know the truth, that assisted suicide is not helping them, the resulting action is evil, regardless of what you happen to think of it.

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Because the statement "only love matters" is false, there simply is no proper way to say it at Mass.  However, one might easily repeat the statement of Pope Benedict XVI on the subject.

"Only in truth does charity shine forth, only in truth can charity be authentically lived."
Pope Benedict XVI, Caritas in Veritate," Section 3, Sentence 2.